My word for 2016

Ever since I was introduced to Susannah Conway’s Unraveling workbook, I’ve been sending it to my friends and family like I’m her brand ambassador. In a sense, I am exactly that. I love the positive energy that comes from reflecting on the year that’s passing and plotting out steps for the next 12 months.

Part of the Unraveling workbook makes you choose a word for the year. As Susannah puts it, your word is “a mantra, a meditation, a reminder, a promise. A word can be interpreted in different ways. A word can’t be “broken” — it feels gentler somehow.” I agree.

My words in the past have been a powerful force that helped guide me through the year. When I did or said anything, I thought, “Does this fall in line with your word for the year?” I definitely fell short sometimes, but having a word for the year helped me get back on track.

In 2015, I was all about the word “order.”

My 2016 word is INTENTIONAL. I realize that when I make a conscious effort to do or say something, the results are very powerful. And now that my inner light is back, I need to focus on protecting who and what is in my space. What I’m doing, saying, participating in, and visiting, reading and loving all need to be intentional so that I can maintain and spread this light. My intentions will send my light to places, people and things in a way that surpasses how I have in the past.

I asked a few of my friends to share their word with me and why they chose it. Here’s a bit of what they shared:

• Adventure: I want to be unusual and exciting in every aspect of my life: career, relationship, spirituality. I want to try something new and keep it fresh!

• Cultivation: Every year, I focus on something new, but this year, I want to sharpen my skills and hone my craft. I want to build upon my strengths.

• Driven: My vision board is all about taking a conscious effort on my part. I wanted to remind myself that I need to work hard to achieve everything I want. 

• Expectancy: I need to work more on really expecting good things to happen instead of worrying about it not.

• Fierce: I want to have a sense of urgency that forces me to focus.

• Legacy: I just started a family and I’m thinking about how to start and carry on traditions.

• Magic: “Life is tricky baby. Stay in your magic.” I’m often reminded how impactful my energy is and this year, I know the atmosphere feels different. 

• Manifest: I'm learning that after I get understanding, then it's time for me to bring it forth into the physical.

• Release: I want to let go of resentment and hurt from my past. I want to be free to love myself.

• Yes: A simple word with lot of meaning.

WHAT'S YOUR WORD FOR 2016?

2015 Recap

My 2015 Vision Board

With only 20 days left in 2015, I’ve been in deep reflection mode.

Usually at the end of the year, my mind is heavy with thoughts about all of the things I didn’t accomplish, but this year is different. Instead of giving energy to the things I didn’t do, I’m focusing and celebrating all of the amazing blessings and opportunities that 2015 provided.

ORDER: My 2015 word was “order” because I felt an internal push to make some changes. To get to what I wanted, I needed to align my thoughts, prayers, circle of friends and actions in a more orderly way. As a planner, I used Susannah Conway’s “Unraveling” to help me map out my 2015.

My goals were simple. Get my finances, physical, spiritual and emotional house in the best order I could by June 2015. Here’s what I accomplished in 2015:

1. On a couch I started and finished my psychotherapy. This experience helped me get over that final hump in my depression (that’s another post).
2. $$. I saved money for my move, although I had no job or idea of where I would land. I applied to jobs in Florida, Hawaii and California and considered Africa, London and Spain.
3. Lost flab I lost 7 pounds. I worked with a nutritionist to help me stay accountable with my eating. It was a really hard process but worth it. 
4. Jesus time Although I joined New Life Covenant years ago, I still hadn’t finished the New Members classes. Triflin, I know. So, I finally did and joined a ministry. I miss them so much.
5. Carpe Diem.I told all my friends that this was my last year in Chicago and that we need to live each moment like it was our last. Again, I had zero job but I knew my time was ending in Chicago. 
6. Toxic Friendship Supporting, loving and caring for undeserving people is silly and hurtful, especially when someone questions your integrity and honesty. It was time for mine to end.
7. Time, talent, treasure I extended my philanthropy to financial support. For my 30th, I had a giving plan, but I was unable to fulfill it. I modified it a bit. I gave $19.13 to 8 organizations.
8. Faith steps I stepped out on faith, again. Moving to Chicago was a huge leap of faith. I had no friends, no family and no job. I did the same with my summer move to Miami. I had no friends or family here, but I just trusted God would show up. He has.
9. Jetsetter I traveled. A lot. Ohio, California (multiple trips there), Philly, Florida and Phoenix were my destinations. I enjoyed family and friends while celebrating life and love.
10. OO-OOP I became active and financial with Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. I’m not proud of this fact, but I took a break from DST, financially and through my participation. But my undergrad chapter’s 50th anniversary sparked that love and loyalty that I had when I joined. Feels good to be back!

What did you accomplish in 2015?

Reading Challenge 2015

Belle's library in Beauty and the Beast

Last year, I read 20 books in between rebranding an organization, going to the gym, hanging out
with friends, and trying new recipes. Some folks claim they are too busy to read which I believe is nonsense. You make time for things you find important. Reading is important to me and I love it. I also want a library like the one Belle received in Beauty and the Beast

This year, I’m challenging myself to read 30 books by the end of the year. On Goodreads, I’m tracking my progress. Currently, I’ve read 8 and just purchased book #9, so I’m a little behind.

Here’s what I’ve read so far:

1. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne 
2. I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Mary Higgins Clark 
3. Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll 
4. A Matter of Choice by Nora Roberts 
5. The Perfect Marriage by Kimberla Lawson Roby 
6. Disgruntled by Asali Solomon 
7. Citizen Creek by Lalita Tademy 
8. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson 

Book #9 is The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson. Book #10 is Design Matters: An Essential Primer-Brochures, Logos, Packaging, Portfolios by Capsule, Maura Keller, Michelle Taute.

I need your help! What books should I add to my list so I can reach my goal? I like all types of genres and I have plenty of beaches to explore in Miami. Leave a comment below with your book suggestions.

My male bestie is jumping the broom

Denise and Cornel supporting my work for an Obama fundraiser
October 2007

I have two male best friends: Cornel and Jovon.

Over the past 5 years, life has made my friendships with both men flourish and reach a place none of us ever saw coming. Both men have prayed with me, for me, and given me the hard advice and love that was sometimes was difficult to hear. Their honesty, rawness and support has shaped me, educated me, and uplifted me. My friendship, with both men, is priceless.

This weekend, I am flying to San Diego to witness the union between Cornel and my new sister, Jamie. I might cry.

You see, Cornel has been a brother to me since the day I met him. I can’t explain it. We just clicked. I felt like I've known him for longer than only 9 years. It could be that Cornel talks a lot and enjoys being challenged. My sarcastic ways/tone made him talk more! Eventually, we both started listening and found out we had a lot in common but very different, too.

Since our initial meeting in 2006 when I first arrived in Chicago, we have supported each other in ways unknown to many. All big dreams, thoughts or concerns, we shared with each, hoping for honest feedback and prayer.

A week before his 30th birthday, Cornel called me. “Aye, sis. I wanna talk to you about something.”

Jamie, me and Cornel in L.A.
April 2015

He was planning to propose to his girlfriend on his birthday. I liked her, although I had only heard stories about her from him. She made my friend happy and motivated him to be better. His smile and demeanor was different because of her. So as usual, I gave him feedback and honesty on his proposal speech. Shorten and be sappy. I also applauded the awesome job he did on her engagement ring!

Cornel, I dedicate this blog post to you to extol you. Black men often don’t hear that people celebrate them, so I want you to know that I’m so proud of you. Stating that I admire you and all the work you’ve done to become the man you are today wouldn’t properly communicate how excited I am about this next journey in life.

Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." You prayed for Jamie and God blessed you with someone who is supportive and beautiful. Jamie is a gift. The favor you have had in so many areas of your life is a true testimony about the power of order, prayer and perseverance. Jamie is an amazing woman and beautiful catch. I can't wait for our future trips :)

I appreciate your focus on living a purposeful and productive life. Keep God in your life and He will continue to order your steps, according to His plan. I’m thrilled to be there to celebrate this moment with you and the start of your family. You deserve this happiness and I’m proud to call you brother.

Just stay out of the way when I dance with your daddy :)

SAG's hurricane prepardeness must-haves

So apparently Tropical Storm Erika is making her way to Miami and will be a category one hurricane Great… 

My spec, Kelli, was the one to break the news to me. She sent me a frantic Google Talk message on Wednesday about the storm. *scratches head* My reply: What storm?

Next, she sent me a link to the National Hurricane Center and then….shit.got.real.

In my lifespan, I’ve lived through snowpocalypse Chicago, polar vortex, blizzards, ice storms, extreme droughts, and tornadoes (freshman year at BGSU...I cried). But, the thought of a hurricane sweeping through my place of residency is a bit unsettling.

Having lived through all that I mentioned, I’m going to live through Erika’s rude arrival to my new home. I put together a hurricane must-have list of all the things I think you should have, in addition to the real hurricane preparedness list:

My shoes, in a tupperware box: Look, I’ve spent some critical money on awesome shoes. Plus, who wants to start their shoe wardrobe over?

A Bible, not on a tablet: Once I got my iPad, I downloaded the Bible app. But seeing that I might need the tablet to contact people, I will pull out my good ole paper copy that I used in college and grad school. I have some good highlighted notes in it anyway.

Bricks: One of the boss ladies (both heads of my department are women. Boom.) at work told me a story about the time her car floated as she approached the ramp to get on the turnpike...the same route I take home. She said the water from a tropical storm or hurricane is what is dangerous. Thanks. That's comforting. I need some bricks to keep in the trunk of my car.


Rope: Along those lines, if it looks like I might be taking a ride, I'm going to strap myself to a palm tree.

Vaseline: Seeing that I might be without water, I should make sure my skin and are moisturized. I need to look good when I’m rescued. 

Water-proof mascara: Speaking of looking good, I will also have on my waterproof mascara. I need to have the right look of fright but beauty so that people will send me money and food.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Rum: Captain Jack Sparrow swears by rum. He survived a hurricane and a tornado. I’m taking a cue from my favorite Disney protagonist.

Photo albums with pictures: I have pictures that span 30 years of my life. I want those rescued, too. I’ll keep them close.

Although this list is in jest, I am taking this hurricane thing seriously. What would you have in your hurricane must-have kit? 

I like to cha cha

I do really like to cha cha (I learned in Zumba) and I absolutely love the song “Cha Cha” but I don’t speak fluent Spanish, yet. I hope the good people of Miami give me some time to catch up.

Baby Sharonda, age 2

Being in Miami has been one interesting culture shock every week. My favorite one is Spanish. Spanish speakers automatically assume I speak the language and will begin whole conversations with me in Spanish. When it happens, I always smile and give them a blank stare. Sometimes they still don’t get it and that's when they get Baby Sharonda’s face. I’ve stopped saying “hola."

The first time it happened, I was at Miami International Airport waiting for my flight back to Chicago. My flight was 2 hours delayed so I was texting a few friends and family to tell them about my successful interview.

You ever feel someone staring at you? Well, I felt that while sitting there and when I looked up, an older woman was looking at me and smiling. She was in her mid-50’s and looked like she’s an awesome abuela to snuggle up under. I smiled at her and said “hola.” Big mistake.

She then has a whole conversation with me....in Spanish. I could pick up some of it. She too was upset about the ridiculous American Airlines flight delay. Since I couldn’t think of a response, I just smiled and went back to texting.

My airport abuela started staring at me again. This time, she asked me to watch her bag so she could go to the bathroom. I said, in English, “No problem. I’ll watch your stuff.” Airport abula returned from the bathroom and said “thank you” to which I replied, “de nada.” I finally knew a response and then she uses English :(

The second time it happened was at work. My boss submitted a work order for my office to get repainted. The nice man came to check out the space. We exchanged “good morning” and then he had questions about the room. He asked them all in Spanish. I’m so happy my boss was within earshot and came to my rescue. He was laughing, too.

I also had someone start a conversation with me in Creole. I was in the car, in the left hand turning lane. He pulled up besides me and was smiling. I wasn’t in the mood for flirting but I still rolled down my window. When he saw me, he waved, then started asking me something...in Creole. I didn’t give him the blank stare, he got Baby Sharonda. When he saw I wasn’t understanding, he smiled again then used his hands to motion. He wanted to get in front of me. Lawd!

This curly hair is confusing folks. I’m BLACK! I need to get back to my Duolingo, ASAP! 

Running in Florida= gnats for dinner :(

First marathon with Veronica and Mira

In 2011, my friend Veronica had an idea; let’s train for a half-marathon. I usually loved all of Veronica’s ideas (they usually consisted of football and/or good food and cocktails), but this one was crazy . Run...a half-marathon…like 13 miles...in one day...

I was already active. I went to the gym about 2-3 a week and enjoyed it. But the idea of running scared me. I hated running. I tried to negotiate training for a 5K instead, but she eventually convinced me to train for 13.1 miles of running. I thought about dumping her as a friend in the beginning!

Second half-marathon

Veronica recommended the training because in 2011, my world literally crashed. My parents divorce, my cheating/lying ex-boyfriend, and my job transition all had me shifting to a very dark place. I wasn’t the same person and she saw that. Running prevented me from slipping into a darker place. Running saved my life.

Third half marathon

Since then, I have completed three half-marathons and several races. The sport has become part of my lifestyle. My initial introduction into running was all about escaping my reality and today, it still gives me that same feeling. I feel accomplished, relaxed and in charge of my life when I’m out there.

I went on my first Floridian run last week after work. I purposely left out when it was cloudy so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the sunshine. What I forgot was that Florida’s “cloudy” weather only lasts temporarily. I was sweating profusely by the 5 minute mark.

Along the route, I saw another runner in the distance. As the figure got closer, I could see it was a black woman! I started to run faster. I didn’t want to appear slow and sluggish! As we crossed each other, she started clapping for me and nodded her head, the standard “hello” that us runners give each other.

After my first Florida outdoor run
The black specs on my chest=gnats

On my run back to my apartment, I saw her again. This time, I couldn’t hide how much the sun was killing me; I was walking. Besides the sun, I had eaten four gnats, one was stuck in my left eye and my sweaty chest was covered in them. I really wish I could’ve called an Uber to take me home. I decided to jog as I got closer to her.

As our paths crossed, she clapped for me again and pointed towards her head while saying, “All mental.” I nodded in agreement and ran the rest of the way home. My training in 2011 consisted of a lot of crying but it helped mentally helped me. She was totally right.

My 4th half-marathon is scheduled for January 2016 and I’m super excited. This will be my first race running alone, but hopefully I’ll find some running friends here in Miami. Training for it is going to be a new challenge. This sun and humidity is no punk and my sinuses still are adjusting. Next time I see that woman, I’m going to give her a high five and thank her for the reminder!

Top 5 things I miss about Chicago…

Today marks the official 1 month mark of relocating to Florida! 

Although I’m enjoying my new life and going through the culture shock of living in this tropical paradise, there are a few things I do miss about Chicago. Here they are in order of importance:

1. My friends: Living somewhere for 9 years comes with an amazing friend network who you can call up for impromptu happy hour, lunch and beach time. I miss my friends so much. I miss being able to call/text them for random fun. But, they have all been in touch with me, regularly, to make sure I’m okay. I MISS AND LOVE YOU! You know who you are.
2. 
   My church: Out of all the things I was dreading the most when it came to this move, finding a new church was top of the list. New Life Covenant totally changed my life in so many ways (separate blog post) so looking for a church home that complements that one is going to be tough. I grew at that church, stretched and totally learned how to have a stronger walk in my faith. I believe all of that was to prepare me for whatever I’m here in Florida to do, see and experience. That’s why I know my new church home is a big part of that story.
3. Afternoon walks: My afternoon walks downtown with my co-worker guaranteed a nice boost in numbers for my FitBit. Although FIU’s campus is huge, this beating sun is hard to hide from. In Chicago, the buildings kept me from getting burnt! I know I’ll appreciate it in January when Chicago is -14 degrees and Florida is 74 degrees.
4. Morning runs along the Lake: Living in Hyde Park, I was able to get up early and run along the lakefront. But, the ocean has a much better smell so this one will likely be obsolete in a few months.
5. My gym, FFC: Man, I loved my group fitness classes. I didn’t have any gym buddies but i just enjoyed sweating and competing with the other people in the class. I do have a gym in my apartment complex, but being in there working out with stanky men just isn’t the same thing!

My list isn’t long because I really do like it here. Professionally, I’m already working on some exciting and new initiatives that are pushing me. I’m loving it! 

Personally, I’m looking forward to making more friends. My group of 3 friends has been awesome so far, but maybe in this next chapter, I'll have a smaller circle. And the weather/climate has been great. My allergies are finally adjusting and my hair hasn’t rebelled too much!

Recap of my first week at my new gig: FIU!

My new employer orientation class

Day 1: New Employee Experience

July 20, I started my day early….extra early…5:30 am early!

I woke up at 5:30 am because I was nervous about having to drive to work and find my way to the FIU New Employee Experience, an orientation day. Driving 25 minutes isn’t a big deal to most, but to a person who hasn’t driven in nearly 9 years, IT HUGE! My test drive to campus the day before was successful except for the part where I kept missing my exit :(

I arrived on campus in my yellow Zara shift dress, tan heels, and my beloved Violette Coquette. Although  I looked like a walking highlighter marker, I was so happy! The peace I have from this transition has been overwhelming and every day when I look in the mirror, I feel it more and more. God orchestrated this entire transition because I prayed and stayed faithful.

New Employee Experience felt like the first day of college all over, except I didn’t have diarrhea like I did in 2002. As I read through all the materials, I thought about how crazy it was that I was actually at FIU. Did I really just relocate to a whole different state, climate, and job? And, did it all go THAT smoothly?

New Employee Orientation

Seeing that I had a whole 45 minutes until the orientation started (I arrived well before the breakfast had even been put out), I read a favorite passage from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson:

“Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we're frantic, life will be frantic. If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.”

I have been praying and working on having peace for nearly a year, and this move is an answered prayer and reflection of how powerful something like peace it. #blessed

Day 2: Welcome, you have a presentation on Monday! Oh...

Tuesday was spent in the actual office with my boss and the team I would be working with. Although I had met a few during my interviews, I had no idea that the External Relations team of FIU has over 20 employees. The office is set up like an agency: PR team, multimedia team, events team, graphic designers and account planning. My role is an account manager who works on the branding and messaging for special projects.

After having no success in finding hot tea for my daily fix, I sat down to play with my MacBook. (Ironically, I’m gifting myself one for Christmas so having to work on one daily will be a good tutorial for me). I thought I would use most of the day working on the HR stuff I learned during the New Employee Experience, but my boss had another plan. The conversation went like this:

Boss: Hey Sharonda! I have your first assignment for you.

Me: Awesome! What do you need?

Boss: I need taglines and copy for 3 ads.

Me: No problem. Can you send me the brief and brand guide for the project?

Boss: Yes. Oh, and you’re presenting this all with me next Monday.

Me: Oh….awesome...I think!

Boss: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for you!

“We’ve been waiting for you” has been a phrase I’ve heard several times since i’ve started which actually makes me feel good. My calendar is quickly filling up with meetings about the projects that they have been holding off on until I started. It is an honor that I get to work on the strategy of major projects for FIU. And, it is my strength and favorite part of my work. Not only am I up for the challenge, I’m ready to surpass it!

Camarones enchilados

Day 3: Nicaraguan and Miami traffic

So this driving thing....like I can’t just walk to the store anymore to get my beloved froyo or olive oil. I have to get in the car, wait for the security gate to open, merge onto the road will all these idiots who won’t let me on, then go to my destination. But I wanna walk!

At first, this driving thing was a worry and a burden. It was a worry because I literally have not been behind the wheels of a car in about 7 years. My first 2 years in Chicago, I occasionally served as the DD. But the last 7 years...nada! Part of the reason for my driving hiatus is because I lost my expired Delaware license and never bothered to get a new one. Then, I committed to doing so before my 30 birthday, but didn’t. So, I didn’t get this license thing figured out until the day before I left Chicago. You can judge me.

But on day three, I decided to go into work a bit later. I left out at 8:15. Big mistake. Huge. I sat in heavy traffic most of my commute to work. I arrived a little after 9:30 with a headache and tension in my shoulders like I had been in the gym. I felt like I needed a glass of Malbec instead of my morning green tea!

Lunch made up for all of that. My boss suggested we have a mini team lunch at Madrono, a Nicaraguan restaurant. The reaction on my face made him laugh when I exclaimed, “I’ve never had Nicaraguan!”

I ordered the camarones enchilados, with red beans and rice and plantains. The camarones enchilados were shrimp served in a tomato garlic sauce that had a touch of sweetness to them. I ate every drop! I’m going back in two weeks and looking forward to trying something new!

Since I had a test drive in Miami morning rush, I decided that Wednesday would also be the day I try the evening rush....well….it moved at a pace of 30 MPH for most of my usual 40 minute commute home. It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get home :(

So….I get to work by 8 am now, 30 minute drive. I get home by 6 pm, 40 minute work....leaving by 7:30 am and work by 5 pm is a deal breaker in this new driving life!

My outside "workplace"

Day 3 and Day 4: No more GPS

Google Maps is my best friend. Even when I was a bus/train/cab/Uber type of girl, Google Maps gave me solid direction. And of course, while in Miami this first week, I’ve relied very heavily on it. But on day 3 and 4, I wanted to challenge myself. Plus, I’m killing my data plan using Google Maps all the time. I got to and from work without using my GPS! I even drove to the grocery store and back home without getting lost...this is a huge victory!

I also did some walking around campus. This place is an outdoor museum which is right up my alley! There are so many wonderful pieces of art work to look at. The architecture of the buildings also is noteworthy and makes me feel at home (Chicago spoiled me). Exploring this campus will be exciting and relaxing. And I already found a special "workplace" to relax and think when I need to be creative.

Welcome gifts from the External Relations team

Day 5: Friday freedom!

Work seemed to fly by! Mostly because I spent most of the day reading and researching for an assignment I got handed on day 3. My boss' boss also has been waiting on me!

I thought Friday evening rush hour would be horrific, but it was the complete opposite! Traffic was flowing and I was dancing to my old school jams the whole way home! Today was a good day.