The hopeful romantic in me is still alive!

I'm a huge book lover. For the most part, I enjoy all book genres, especially chick lit and historical fiction. The nerd in me still goes to the library to check out books! But ever since I got my new iPad Mini, I've been downloading books like crazy, both free and paid!  I recently downloaded a contemporary romance novel that was more than a great read, it was an experience...

My first introduction to Wendy Owens was through the book Stubborn Love. It is a story about a young woman, Emmie, who moves to New York City to finish her art degree after having her world turned upside down from her husband's suicide.  Although she's in NYC for school and to launch her career, she connects with three other characters, Paige, Colin and Christian.  Paige is her roommate and challenges Emmie to leave her Midwest roots and explore/enjoy life. Paige is the girl we all have in our friend clique; she’s sassy, confident and always makes you feel like you are invincible.

Stubborn Love is a page turner because you encounter how a damaged person tries battles with her past while trying to look forward to her future. Enter Colin Bennett. The connection between Colin and Emmie is the main storyline. Colin becomes a friend, distraction and love interest all at once. He’s the man that you purposely push away but secretly want to fight to stay around. He’s also the guy who does subtle things to let you know he’s deeply in love with you.  The term, “swept off my feet” applies to Colin’s intentions with Emmie. What I loved most about this character was how he becomes the biggest supporter of her talent and dreams.  Stubborn in Love is one of those books that gives you comfort about taking risks in relationships. 

 

Only In Dreams, I sighed deeply (thinking about my own first love) and cried tears of joy (the climax of this story had me anxious). This time, the main storyline is around Paige and Christian. You learn about their history and their relationship in Stubborn in Love but you get all the emotions in this book. What I love about Paige was her devotion to Christian. She’s what many would call “ride or die” because she stuck by him for years although he didn’t have much and wasn’t living up to his potential.

In Owens' sequel,

And then there's Henry, Paige's fiance and probably the most amazing male character I've read in a long time. His protection, provision and purpose in Paige's life is what every girl dreams of. Henry is also one of those characters that you love the moment you meet him. This is how I felt about Mr. Darcy after reading of his pridefulness!

The emotions I experienced all throughout reading Only In Dreams renewed some of the optimism and "hopeful" romantic idealism that I've been missing. If you are in the mood for a great story with unforgettable characters, definitely read both Stubborn Love and Only In Dreams.

Speed Dating

In my 30s, I decided to be open-minded in my dating. With that, I'm considering new possibilities including blind dates (my last blind date was in 2008), interracial dates (my last one was junior year of high school), speed dating and one day, online dating (in the winter when I'm not saving money to travel). I'm not looking for love, just company and fun.

A few ago, I was invited to attend a speed dating event with Urban Fast Lane Love. I agreed to attending because I was so curious. So many questions ran through my head....What was it like? What kind of men attend? Am I lame/desperate for attending speed dating? 

I decided to attend and find out first-hand what speed dating was about. Even if it was a flop, with my dating luck, I knew it could have some funny stories. And of course, I was right!

SPEED DATING
The cost to attend was $25. I didn't think that was a bad price and far cheaper than online dating. The price included one cocktail of your choice. I ordered my good ole faithful, a Jameson and Ginger.

Speed dating is a small, intimate setting where you have five minutes to get to know your date. You write their name down and then you chat, trying to learn all you can to see if this person is a potential match. After the five minutes are over, the men switch tables and meet their next date. At the end of the night, you check "yes" or "no" and then the event organizers email you the contact information of your matches.

I arrived extra early so I could scout the room. After returning from the bathroom, I sat at the bar and ordered my drink. I immediately made eye contact with some lame sporting a Bulls cap and a blazer. He looked like a Southside Quasimodo! I immediately thought, Lord, please don't let all of the men look like this!

I didn't want to ruin my night so I ended my scouting and redirected my attention to Words with Friends and Instagram. I wanted to be surprised by the men that I met that night.

There were a total of 9 women who attended and 8 men.

THE DATES
The first three conversations were awkward, but I kept laughing and cracking sarcastic jokes to lighten the mood. The men were nervous, too.

After I got to date four, I started to have fun. I realized the men were putting on their best face to get that "yes" checked next to their name at the end of the night. By my last date, all I could think about was getting some food because I was starving. I'm convinced Jameson makes you hungry!

FLOW DATING
Flow dating is similar in the time you have to talk, but the difference is, you are given one prompt question with each date. The event I attended was put on by Paul Brunson and sponsored by BET.

The prompt questions about sex, divorce and seduction with a complete stranger made an already awkward experience really uncomfortable! There was even one date where you had to give your date your best massage! For the record, I'm extremely uncomfortable with touching. I'm like a baby, I need time to warm up to you!

I know Paul Brunson is known for flow dating, but those questions were not necessary.  By date #2 of 9, I was ready to leave. Oh, and the men at this event were not as attractive as the speed dating event. Their conversation was also really boring. One guy even insulted me by telling me my finish time for my half-marathons was "pathetic". Yes, theses were his exact words. He also had on a bedazzled t-shirt from him t-shirt company so I just sat and started at him, trying not to laugh in his face. I failed.

MY END VERDICT
With both speed dating and flow dating, I matched with 5 men. To date, I've only been out on one of the guys I met. We've had three fun dates and he seems nice. One guy has called, emailed, and sent text, but no date. The last guy has annoyed me twice and potentially will be deleted from my phone if I don't hang out with him by the end of March. Two men have never called.

Would I attend speed dating and flow dating again? Yes, probably, I had a good time meeting new men. Love matches? No, but that's perfect for me at this time.My heart is on lock-down for awhile...

Have you every attended a speed dating event? What was your experience like?

5 Gym Etiquette Rules

I enjoy going to the gym. It is my time to work hard, sweat, and get out my frustrations. I need my workouts because they truly help me with my mental health. I also go to the gym because I don’t want to be fat. Curves are cool, but fat, not so much.

There have been times during my gym visits that I have become annoyed or amused. In fact, every time I go, I think to myself, are they serious? There have been a few instances when I want to drop kick people, mostly silly women. 

Like everything, I think there’s a certain decorum one should have when in public places. The gym is no different.

Here are my top 5 gym etiquette rules:

1. Wear deodorant: I'm not sure why this is negotiable for some folks. You come to the gym to work hard for your fitness goals. You will sweat. Sweating will make you stinky. Please use deodorant so that my nostrils aren't burning when I'm next to you.

2. When naked, wear a towel: The 55 and over women are always in violation of this rule. They walk around the locker room like they are in the comfort of their own homes. Grandma, I don't want to see your saggy breasts that touch your knees! The locker room isn't the Summer of Love or Woodstock!

3. Don't crowd my space: I love group fitness classes but I dislike how crowded some of them get. If you see my equipment up, don't set yours up 2 inches next to me. Get to class earlier so you can have your own spot.

4. Sports bras are your friend: I can't understand how women workout without a sports bra. My 34 s are throbbing if I forget mine, so I know your triple Zs are hurtin something terrible. Be kind to your girls and wear a sports bra. Please note, I will hysterically laugh at you if you bust yourself in the head with your own breast!

5. Your full face=clown face: Full face of makeup that is. When I'm at the gym, I'm in a ponytail, Vaseline, and waterproof mascara. My face is clear of foundation and even my tinted moisturizer. Why? I don't want my pores clogged and I'm not there to impress those men! Most women who wear full face also don't wear sports bras. Amateurs.

What are your gym etiquette rules? Do you laugh to yourself when someone is in violation?

Chi-Raq, a pre-documentary discussion

Tonight, I will be attending a screening of the documentary "Chi Raq" just like the moniker the city earned from the frequent gun violence and gun related deaths. The documentary is the work of a London-based filmmaker who turned his lens on people most affected by it living on the city's South and West Sides. The interviews in the film include the men pulling the triggers, the people trying to stop them and the families of those caught in the crossfire. I hope my emotions can handle this. 

The documentary screening event and discussion will be hosted by the Chicago Urban League as their final documentary screening for their 2014 Black History Month Film Festival. I was only able to attend one other screening and panel discussion, but I truly enjoyed the conversation about Dark Girls, a fascinating and controversial documentary film that goes underneath the surface to explore the prejudices that dark-skinned women face throughout the world. (In March, expect a post about that conversation).

Chicago has a gun violence problem that In one weekend in 2013, Chicago saw 46 people shot. In 2012, 443 people lost their lives to gun violence and 65 of those victims were 18 and under. And now in 2014, the city reports that homicide rates are down. When summer hits, will that rate remain low?

Regardless if more or less people die this year, gun violence is a problem, especially here in Chicago. Some argue that Chicago's violent crime levels are not exceptional when compared to other major cities, but the death of nearly 500 people a year because of guns is significant enough to be classified as an epidemic, in my opinion. 

After the screening, I'm hoping tonight's panel discusses a few questions I have:

• How are we going to end segregation in Chicago and bring people out of poverty?

• Is the availability of guns the main contributing factor to the gun violence?

• Are stricter gun laws a solution to ending Chicago's gun violence?

• How do we stop making youth a target for gun violence? ( According to the Chicago Reporter, from 2008 through 2012, nearly half of Chicago’s 2,389 homicide victims were killed before their 25th birthdays.)

• How do can we use our collective power to end gun violence in Chicago?

• What questions do you have about Chicago's gun violence?

I'll be sure to write a post-event write up about the event and mention what was discussed.

My Timeless Moment Photo Shoot

For my 30th birthday, I wanted to capture the woman I am and have a photo shoot that produced lots of pictures for me to look back on and show my future children and grandchildren. Plus, it was an excuse to get dressed up and have professional make-up done!

Keeping with my "timeless moment" theme, I wanted the photo shoot to be classic with an old Hollywood feel. I looked in my closet and remembered I had a flapper dress I got from Nordstrom Rack for a black-tie event I attended last spring. The dress reminds me of one of my favorite books and movies, "The Great Gatsby." Of course, this was to going to be one of the looks for the shoot! I purchased another dress from Akira on an impulse buy.

The photo shoot was an incredible experience and I'm  really happy I did it. From finding the looks I wanted for my makeup, to practicing my faces (I suck at being sexy and serious) and looking for the right accessories, I had so much fun. Usually, I'm behind-the-scenes and helping guide photo shoots and the subject, but it felt good to be in front of the lens this time. I enlarged my favorite looks. Let me know what you think of the pictures!

Photography: DGM Phototgraphy
Makeup: Kalana of By Faith Makeup Artistry
Hair: Alana of Avlon Industries.
Shoes (grey and black patent leather): BCBG
Shoes (red): Nina Shoes
Location: Renaissance Blackstone

Isn't this flapper dress timeless?

A nude lip +smokey eye + red polish= TIMELESS

This dress had the coolest cut on the hem.

The Renaissance Blackstone was the perfect location
for the timeless feel I wanted

This is my favorite picture because it captures my happiness and confidence.

Hey ya'll!

I think I may get this blown up and hung in my condo.

My attempt to be sexy. I wanted to laugh!

I loved my smokey eyes with my favorite color, purple.

I'm happy I purchased this dress! Thanks Akira!

Being silly

I love contemporary furniture and those shoes!

Mirror, mirror on the wall!

Channeling my inner Michelle Obama. She's my role model!

The timeless shot that I wanted. Love it!

$30 for 30

When you hear the word ”philanthropist,” do you think of a rich person who owns multiple homes and uses a $300 bar of soap? I did! I always thought a philanthropist is someone who can cut big  checks with lots of zeros and multiple commas. That ain't my ministry, YET!

I bet you didn't know that "women generally donate more, are more actively involved in the given charities, demand more proof of effectiveness and prefer somewhat different causes than men."

I work at a women's funding foundation where I've come to learn that philanthropy is actually defined by someone who gives of their time, talents, and money. My job purposefully trains and encourages women about giving and teaches them how to be bold in their donations. 

It appears that I've been a philanthropist for over 20 years and didn't even know it!

Over the next 10 months, in honor of my 30th birthday, I plan to give $30 to 30 organizations. I will make 3 donations a month in honor of my milestone birthday. I’m calling this my “$30 for 30” campaign.

In my 2014 Unraveling, I listed “Defining my philanthropy” as one of the three passions/hobbies that I would like to explore this year. All the organizations that I’m donating $30 to are nonprofits that I support because of their mission, their leadership, and the community they serve. Most of them are organizations that I have a personal tie with, but I’ll be sure to explain all of that.

I'm doing this campaign as a challenge to myself and to you. I am always telling people to get involved, give back to your community, make a difference. Yes, I'm a big cheerleader for social responsibility and civic engagement, but I haven't made a conscious effort to extend that effort with my pocketbook. I already volunteer my time and talents and adding this last piece to my philanthropy will really help me feel like a "philanthropist." 

My first three donations will be made in March. Be on the lookout for details about the organizations here on my blog. I challenge you to set an amount of money to donate to causes you believe in, too. Let me know which ones you choose and why.

Why I decided to blog

My name is Sharonda G. and at work, I do a lot of writing. I write about the issues connected to my job, draft newsletters, draft communications plans, event flows, e-appeals...the list goes on. And I love every minute of it, but sometimes, I just want to be creative. I want to use 100 exclamation points just because it feels good. I want to write in ALL CAPS because you know what, I LIKE IT! I sometimes want to think outside of the box and not have any valid reason for my idea. I just want to do something fun!

When you work under someone else, their preferences outweigh yours and your creativity gets sidelined and sometimes even kicked to the curb entirely. Thank God for the Interwebs! Now, I can talk about my grey hair, my wonderful dating life (insert sarcasm)  AND USE ALL CAPS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!! SEE!!!!! That's just part of the story. The main reason why I decided to blog is because I'm entering a new chapter of life: my 30s! My 20s were full of events that I wish I had captured better. Like most people, my 20s were an incredible time of growth. I learned very valuable and meaningful lessons on life, love, faith and liberty (I'll explain more later). As was reflecting on my 20s I thought, I want to publicly discuss/capture my 30s and start some conversations. So that's what I hope this blog does, start some conversations.

Deciding on a title for my blog was a bit challenging.  Although my professional work is in integrated marketing communications,  the advertising part has always been my weakness. I'm better at developing strategy which serves as a guide to the creative/designer folks. So I used my professional wits and thought this through. I probably thought too much about the title, but the end product is something I love: "My Timeless Moments."

The title had to be something quirky, yet a reflection of me and the type of content I wanted to share. I also knew I wanted an oxymoron just because those always make me think and laugh.

Merriam-Webster defines "timeless" as "staying beautiful or fashionable as time passes; lasting forever." "Moments" are defined as "a very short period of time; a particular time; a precise point in time." Combined, the phrase "timeless moments" to me means "short periods of events that will last forever because they are beautiful." I believe  my 30s are going to be "timeless moments."

What am I going to discuss on here? EVERYTHING! From pop culture, to politics, to faith, to friendships, to lessons learned, I hope you take time to join the conversation!